Monday, 25 July 2011

Quality or Quantity Time? A balance of course!

Hello friends!  I hope you are enjoying a wonderful summer...I am having a busy one, which is why my blogging is a little less frequent!

So, lately I've been thinking about when I first went back to work after my first maternity leave.  I was a little obsessed with the number of hours I spent with my little one to the point of counting how many waking hours I spent with her in comparison to the sitter!  This really didn't do anything for the quality of the time I did spend with her I'm sure!

As a mom, of course I want to spend as much time with my children as I can.  More important however, is how I spend that time with them.  If I am so stressed out about all the things not getting done or about work or about all the other things in life there is to get stressed about...I won't be a very nice person to be around and the kids would perhaps prefer not to be around me so much!  Maybe an extra hour or two in child care or with Dad to get a few needed 'mommy' things taken care of wouldn't be such a bad idea. 

Most of the time, I am a bit too focused on all the things that I have to do and wanting to accomplish something and not 'waste time'.  I have to constantly remind myself that taking time to do an activity with any or all of the kids, chosen by them, is not a waste of time.  (Even if it is watching a movie that we've all watched several times before!)  This is quality time...the kind of thing that tells them that they are important enough to me to put aside all the things I 'need' to do long enough to spend time with them.

On the other hand, I have come across people that spend very little time with their kids and when they do it is always a big production... something big and probably expensive every time they spend time together.  This is not necessary... and it is a symptom of the guilt on feels for how little time they are spending with the kids... hopefully, this is not a problem you have and if it is, I pray you will work on only have so much time with the kids until they're gone.

Now that our older two are getting old enough to really chip in around the house, they are also old enough to understand that the more they help out, the more time we'll have to all do fun things together.  We also can take advantage of the time spent together on chores to get caught up on the events of the day or week and to discuss many other things.  This too can be quality time together.

Well, these are my thoughts on the subject...and no, I don't count the hours anymore... but of course things are always different with the third child anyway ;)

Enjoy those little people and may they grow up to be your friends that always know that you have time for them!